Shakespierstorff's blog

I Didn't Know They Sold That at the Farmer's Market
(by Sam Pierstorff, City of Modesto's Poet Assholeaute)

"When asked why they come [to Modesto, CA], prostitutes have told officers that they like the area . . . . It's warm, so it's easy to be outside. And business is good, especially during the harvesting season."
—"Nights on Ninth Street" by Emilie Raguso Modesto Bee, 1/7/08.

When it's time for almonds to be shaken
off their trees, here come the hookers.

Lured by the warmth of Modesto's summer breeze,
they blow into town and shake the nuts from the twigs
and berries of men who stand for such things.

And I thought they came for the Gallo Center for the Arts
or the downtown restaurants, the sweet potato fries
at Harvest Moon, the Azteca Mocha at Queen Bean.

Why don’t they come for art? Where are the garters
and fishnet stockings in the front row of the poetry slam?

If only they knew what poems could do for their body,
they would pay to stand under the hot water of our words,
and we could wash away the stains our neighbors left behind.

We are more than limp dicks in Ford pick up trucks, more than
sleazy motels and meth clouds rising like ghosts from burial ashes.

But if they came to us, would we speak to them at all?
Would you play a song on your guitar or write a haiku:

Lady of the night—
It's dark outside, so come in.
We'll take care of you.

She'll tell you that "It's warm, so it's easy to be outside."
And for a moment, you believe her. But look closer:

Her arms are scarred as dead branches. Her face, bruised
and torn by the shears of fingernails and fists. Her mouth,
a dark well of missing teeth, you wonder if she even eats.

This does not look easy.

It's harvesting season once again in Modesto
when business is especially good.

So before the burning light of a new day dawns,
before you sow another wild oat, before you strip
your field down to its naked red dirt, ask yourself,

which hoe will you use today?

Greg and I are looking for a DJ to spin at the Annual ILL LIST POETRY SLAM. If you're interested (and responsible) let me know: pierstorffs@mjc.edu

THE ILL LIST IV: A POETRY SLAM INVITATIONAL returns to the State Theatre, Modesto, CA on Saturday, December 8th, 2007 at 8pm.
TICKETS ON SALE NOW!
(This event has sold out every year, so don’t procrastinate!)
You won’t believe your ears.
So who’s competing?
Only these top ten kick-ass HBO Def Poets, National and International Champs, and Poetry Slam Superstars from across the country:
Scorpio Blues, Katie F-S, Alvin Lau, Mighty Mike McGee, Big Poppa E, Anis Mojgani, Ed Mabrey, Chad Sokolovsky, Adriel Luis, Sonya Renee


So what is The ILL LiST anyway?
It’s the most prestigious and highly anticipated spoken word event in the Central Valley (if not all of California and most of the U.S.)! It’s a literary earthquake that hits Modesto once a year in December as the nation’s best performance poets descend on our town, step to the mic, and blow our minds wide open with the power of words.
"The ILL List IV: A Poetry Slam Invitational" returns to the city of Modesto on Saturday, December 8th, 2007 at 8:00pm. This event will feature 10 nationally renowned spoken word artists, many of whom have previously appeared on HBO's Def Poetry Jam, including National and International slam champions.
Through 3-rounds of original poetry, poets will match metaphors and battle rhyme for rhyme on their quest for $1500 in cash prizes! Randomly selected judges from the audience, using Olympic-style scorecards, will award points to poets based on the strength of their poems and the quality of their performance. Audience members are strongly encouraged to root for their favorite poems as cuts will be made after every round. Cheering, yelling, booing, hissing, whistling, and good-natured heckling are welcome and expected.
Admission to this world-class literary boxing match is $15 for general admission seating. Tickets can be purchased online at THESTATE.ORG or at the State Theatre box office, or at Salon Deville & Day Spa, 226 Mc Henry Ave. (Cash Only location).
For more information, visit: SLaM on RyE.com or contact the State Theatre at (209) 527-4697. The historic State Theater is located at 1307 J Street, Modesto, CA 95354.
This is a free speech event.

Actually, better than HBO and a lot cheaper.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

SLAM on RYE is BACK!

After our annual July hiatus to rest, recoup, recharge, and rewrite, we're back for a new season beginning Wednesday, August 9th, 2006, 7:30pm at the intimate and air-conditioned Prospect Theatre, 520 Scenic Dr. Modesto, CA.

This month we begin fresh, and it's the perfect month for new poets to take the stage since our beloved Modesto Slam Team will be competing at Nationals in Austin, TX. After a moment of silence to wish them well, the show will have to go on.

Featured Poet This Month: You. This month's slam is your best opportunity to dust off your poems, practice in the mirror, and bring your words to the stage. The first slam of the season is always a little mellow; judges are kinder, and your host promises to keep his forked tongue coiled. This month is all about you giving it a shot and proving your inner demons wrong.

So who will step to the mic and give the veteran poets a run for their money when they return? Who has been waiting in the wings for months, finally willing to bear their souls and free the voices in their head? Whose “Ode� will challenge Jai’s ode to you-know-what . . .?

Featured Haiku Battle: As of this email, Christian Cummings remains the champ and will be invited to take on a willing combatant. Rumor has it that his own brother might fall victim to the razor end of each syllable.

See you at the Slam . . .

For more Modesto Poetry Slam info, visit: www.slamonrye.com

SLaM on RyE,
Modesto's Monthly Poetry Slam
2nd Wednesday of Every Month
at The Prospect Theater
520 Scenic Drive
Modesto, CA

Doors open @ 6:30pm
Show starts @ 7:30pm
General Admission: $3.00
Competing Poets: $5.00
For Directions: (209) 549-9341

Upcoming slams:
August 9, 2006
September 13, 2006
October 11, 2006
November 8, 2006
December 13, 2006

You should all buy this slim (and inexpensive) book of poetry at Amazon.com or click here (POETRY BOOK!) especially if you think you hate poetry. It'll make you tickle inside (and I can arrange to tickle you on the outside).

xo,
sp

P.S. Sam is the current Poet Laureate of Modesto, so his half of the book doesn't suck, and there's lots of references to McHenry Ave.

P.S.S. See you at the next Slam on RYE on August 9th.

If anyone wants to carpool to Fresno, there are 2 awesome poetry events coming to town: (1.) SLAMFRESNO 2006 (think ILL LiST) featuring a number of super poets including Modesto's own Bizarro-super Poet Laureate, Sam Pierstorff, and (2.)on July 1st, Saul Williams is gonna be in the valley with Suheir Hammad. Sweet.

Check out www.slamonrye.com or http://www.ululateproductions.org/events/
for details.

"My advice to all young writers is quite simple. I would caution them never to evade a new experience. I would urge them to love life in the raw, to grapple with it bravely, to attack it with naked fists." --Arturo Bandini. (from ASK THE DUST, by John Fante.)

Summer school starts tomorrow and I am teaching an English 101 class, but instead of sticking with the same old issue-based stuff, I am gonna shove some great literature down my students' throats and see if they shit gold dust or erupt in diarrhea. I think we'll meet outside most mornings under a tree and suck in some Redwood penumbra. It's the only way I think I'll get through those mornings when the sun is a child at the door waiting for me to come out and play. These are very good Modesto days before the hell of summer really begins to hammer us into submission. If you care for some light reading and a vicarious classroom experience, try these fine titles: Ask the Dust, John Fante; Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri; The Effects of Knut Hamsun on a Fresno Boy, Gary Soto.

XO,
SP

I used to work at Wal-Mart in Riverside, CA for years before getting a college degree and migrating north to Modesto, so I say this with some hesitation: Wal-Mart makes me sad. I used to go in for toothpaste, socks, crap like that because it was cheaper by a few cents but now I find myself gratefully donating those extra coins to Target because it's less crowded, cleaner, nicer. Am I a snob? Is Target the Nordstrom's of Modesto? Probably not. But Wal-Mart makes me uneasy; the obese clientele and their gallons of Sam's Choice root beer, the children being dragged kicking and crying out of the toy section, the sticky floor, the censored DVDs, the grandfatherly door greeters a few hellos away from death, the narrow aisles, tiny carts, piles of overstock. It's all so yucky. Anyway, I must be turning into a snob and losing my downhome roots, or I am on to something and it smells a little funky. Just thought you should take a whiff too.